In a World of Empire Builders, Be a Village Builder

Group of people share laughter and food together outside.

Have you ever watched a dating show where someone says they're "looking for someone to build an empire with?" They often appear meticulously polished, aiming to create a brand with their future "King" or "Queen." This idea is deeply rooted in our consumerist culture, which tells us that with hard work, determination, and adherence to societal hierarchies, we can earn our worth and belonging. Often, this path is also tied to traditional gender roles and inherited positions of power.

But what if someone wanted to find a partner more interested in building a village? Imagine a partner who values the needs of not just themselves and their relationship, but the entire community. Someone who isn't confined by societal myths but is open to new possibilities through connection and collaboration. This approach isn't a simple formula; it's a fluid and dynamic process that requires trust—in oneself, in others, and in the larger web of life.

It's easy to understand why many are drawn to the idea of empire-building. It promises that by following the rules and working hard, we can "win." However, this often conflicts with our understanding of true human happiness and fulfillment. Spoiler alert: it's not about what we own, how we look, or any other external measure of success. Instead, it's the quality of our relationships that enriches our souls. This kind of wealth cannot be bought or sold; it operates on a completely different set of metrics.

When we realize that our worth isn't tied to competition, what we create and who we become is truly beautiful. This beauty is unique and doesn't demand perfection. However, it can be misunderstood or even offend those who are committed to empire-building. This is because it involves cultivating a completely different ecosystem—one based on mutuality and the understanding that we are meant to belong, not to rule or be ruled.

Imagine forging a partnership with someone equally invested in building and being good village member with you. Who would that be? What would that look like? How can we become that person? This is the true path to happiness, a journey we navigate as we break away from the scripts handed down to us.

I'm not suggesting we disregard tending to the resources available to us, financial or otherwise. That is not necessary. This paradigm shit only asks that we divest from the notion that we can only be happy if we buy that next shiny thing (we won't) or attract and marrying that "perfect" partner (they don't exist). Setting our sights towards pursuing closeness through honest and authentic expression is how we arrive at the closeness and relationships we truly desire.

This is what I want you to know. Perfection not required. It's a lie that keeps us from true happiness. May we find true happiness and fulfillment, the wealth of a soul, by finding ourselves in building a better world, village by village, whatever that looks like to each of us.