
anna belle wood
psychotherapist
Adulting After Dysfunky
Is This You?
An adult daughter from a dysfunctional family, before significant recovery has taken place, operates in survival mode:
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She doesn't know who she is
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She unwittingly betrays herself
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She says and does what she thinks other people want or expect from her
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She focuses on what might get her most immediate needs met
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She is constantly guessing at what "normal" is
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She hasn't known anything better

Note: These patterns of behavior can apply to adult children of any gender...

Emotional abuse from a parent can sound like:
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You're killing your mother.
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You're a disappointment.
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Why do you hate me so much?
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You have nothing to be sad about.
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That never happened.
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What's wrong with you?
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I have nothing to apologize for.
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You've never cared about me.
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You're ungrateful.
Strengths of trauma survivors:
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Resilience, capacity for post traumatic growth
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Insight and understanding into societal issues
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Appreciation for the "small things" in life
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Increased empathy for others
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Passion for helping people, social justice
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Creativity, practicality
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Levity, unique sense of humor ;)


Thoughts that block recovery from childhood trauma:
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It wasn't that bad.
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Other people had it worse.
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Was it really abuse, toxic?
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I can't think of specific examples.
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Physical, sexual abuse didn't occur.
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My parents did their best.
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I had a roof over my head, food.
Healing from a dysfunctional family or an invalidating early childhood environment is long term work. It's a lifetime. It takes time. Settle in for the long haul with plenty of patience and compassion. A great therapist doesn't hurt either.
