An adult daughter from a dysfunctional family, before significant recovery has taken place, operates in survival mode: 

• She doesn't know who she is

• She unwittingly betrays herself

• She says and does what she thinks other people want or expect from her

• She focuses on what might get her most immediate needs met

• She is constantly guessing at what "normal" is

• She hasn't known anything better

Emotional abuse from a parent can sound like:

• You're killing your mother.

• You're a disappointment.

• Why do you hate me so much?

• You have nothing to be sad about.

• That never happened.

• What's wrong with you?

• I have nothing to apologize for.

• You've never cared about me.

• You're ungrateful.

Strengths of trauma survivors:

• Resilience, capacity for post traumatic growth

• Insight and understanding into societal issues

• Appreciation for the "small things" in life

• Increased empathy for others

• Passion for helping people, social justice

• Creativity, practicality

• Levity, unique sense of humor ;) 

Healing from a dysfunctional family or an invalidating early childhood environment is long term work. It's a lifetime. It takes time. Settle in for the long haul with plenty of patience and compassion. A great therapist doesn't hurt either.